There is a large tall skyscraper in a city. Inside of it is the office of what appears to be a piece of Meatloaf.
"Ah this is the life! I'm the richest and most powerful person in the world! I have a team of servants who will do whatever I want. Oh speaking of which!
Meatloaf presses a button activating an intercom "Butlers come in here and fight to the death for my amusement!
About a second later two wine glasses came in and started beating each other up while Meatloaf laughed in the background." Comedy gold!" Meatloaf took out a laser gun and zapped both of them.
Meatloaf laughed. His laugh eventually turned to a frown." It's not as funny as it used to be. There's no depth anymore. It's not as fun." Meatloaf sighed and turn on the TV
"Hey you!" Meatloaf was surprised. "Me?" The commercial continued. "Are you a sadist? Is your life boring? Do you want to have legions of people tell you your unoriginal?" "Yes, yes and DEFINITELY! Man this commercial gets me!" "Then what you need is an object show! A show where sentient objects compete through challenges and win a 1 million dollar prize. And the best part is we'll throw in the million dollar prize completely free of charge!" "Wow how convenient! And stupid." "All you have to do is call 111-111-Object Show! And we'll send you a 15 character cast, an island and supplies for challenges for the low low price of 3 cents! Call today!"
"Holy Wakazoli! I better write that number down so I don't forget!" One of his butlers butted in. "Sir may I suggest that you just call now ." Meatloaf scowled. "Shut up Butler, I don't tell you how to live your life!" "Actually sir, that's exactly what you do."
"Oh yeah, well any more bright ideas?" "Sir, may I suggest we save time and cutaway to the next part of the episode?" "That's a great idea so I'm gunna take credit for it!"
"Greetings ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Object Sociopathy!" I'm your host Meatloaf Rumpelstillskin Mortimer, but you can call me Meatloaf cause I don't know why I have a last name! Our objects will be arriving in a zeppelin soon and you can meet them! The zeppelin should be arriving right now!"
A delivery truck came up and a Postcard walked out."Howdy Mr. Meatloaf lovely day we're having." "Yeah great I was told there was going to be a zeppelin not a pathetic underpaid blue collar original character driving a truck!" Postcard frowned. He took out fifteen cardboard boxes. "Here are your characters sir have a nice day!" The truck left.
"FINALLY!" Meatloaf took out a sword and sliced open a box."Alright guys meet our first character Beaker. "Oh where am I who are you!" "I'm the guy who's gunna make the next fifteen or so episodes of your life awful! Or however long you, last!" Beaker frowned! "Will this is just perfect how am I supposed to figure time travel with you ruining my life?" Meatloaf shrugged. Beaker took out a bottle of some sort and took a long drink
"Ok and these boxes don't come with packing peanuts! Just another reason to hate the parcel service! Not to self never use online delivery." Meatloaf sliced open another box revealing the next character.
"Meet Egg Muffin!" Egg Muffin stood up. She looked really excited."Oh my god I'm so excited to be here!" Meatloaf grinned sarcastically. "Really? Because that means we have how many morons on the show now? TWO!" Beaker called out from a distance. "I heard that!" Meatloaf shouted back. "I don't care!" Egg Muffin frowned. "Wow this is officially the second worst greeting I've ever received." Meatloaf frowned. "Ok great now go do something that doesn't involve me!
"Alrighty folks next lets introduce our next contestant!" He sliced open the next box.
"Meet Cartoony!" Cartoony jumped up. "Wow it's nice to meet you! My name is uh..." Meatloaf sighed. "Your name is Cartoony." "Oh right it is!" Cartoony shook Meatloaf's hand. "Nice to meet ya Cartoony!" Meatloaf inhaled. "Oh this is going to be a long day.
"Ok everyone meet our next contestant!" He cut open the box with his sword."Meet Fanny Pack!" Fanny Pack sighed."Wow nice to meet ya hosty. Let me guess, your gunna insult me in some unclever?" "Well-" "And I'm also willing to wager you did the exact same things to those three shmucks over ther?" She pointed to Egg Muffin, Cartoony, and Beaker. "Pretty much" exclaimed Beaker. Meatloaf scowled . "Just go sit over there." Fanny Pack sighed. "Whatever."
"Next up we have..." Meatloaf sliced open the next box."Introducing Eye of-" A triangular figure flew out of the box. "I need no introduction! Everyone knows who I am! I am the keeper of secrets! I am the all seeing eye! I know everything! I am the leader of The Society of the New World! I AM THE EYE OF PROVIDENCE!" Meatloaf glared at him."Hey buddy I thought you were all knowing." Eye of Providence looked over at Meatloaf. "I am! Why do you question my authority?" "You said you needed no introduction, then you introduced yourself! Just go over there!"
"Alright next up on our list is..." He sliced open the box revealing the next contestant. "Give a warm welcome to Plantain." Plantain walked out of the box nervously. "Hello Plantain!" Plantain raised a hand as if to say hi. The top half of her body slid off. "OH MY STARS! MY BODY FELL OF! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?" Meatloaf looked at his sword than hid it behind his back and began whistling. "Ok Plantain my butlers are over there. They'll stitch you back together in no time!" Meatloaf put the top half of Plantain on her body and Plantain walked in the direction that Meatloaf pointed to
"Ok everyone next contestant!" He cut open the next box. "Meet Accordion!" Accordion stood up enthusiastically. "Hiya Meatloaf! Nice to MEAT you!" Meatloaf frowned. Accordion laughed. "Here I got you this!" Accordion handed Meatloaf a rubber chicken."Oh thanks." "No prob bob! Well be seein ya!
Meatloaf threw the rubber chicken in a trash can. "Alright folks meet our next contestant! He cut open the box. "Introducing Trading Card! "Huzzah! It is I Trading Card! I am the general of the elf armada! Vanquisher of the necromancers! And D&D champion!" Accordion yelled. "No way! I'm a champion at D&D too! I guess you could say I'm White and Nerdy!" Music began to play. Accordion started singing. "They see me mowin my front lawn I kn-" Meatloaf interrupted the song. "Shut up stop singing! And you aren't white your red!" Trading Card backed away nervously.
Meatloaf sighed. "Ok next person." Meatloaf sliced open the box. "Ok everyone meet Retroey!" Retroey fell out of the box. "Ow son of a monkey butt!" Meatloaf helped him up." Aw what kind of entrance is this!? In boxes sliced open with a sword?" Meatloaf frowned. "Hey I helped you up and that was the nicest thing I did in this episode! You could at least say thanks!" "Oh sorry thanks for making another object show! Just what the world needs!" Meatloaf pushed him in the others. "Jeez I wasted another way to say "next contestant" and "introducing" on him! I'm running out of those and people are gunna start thinking I'm lazy!
Meatloaf cut open the next box. "Next contestant Wheelchair!" Wheelchair grinned
"HI!" Meatloaf looked at her. "Hi so anywa-" Wheelchair interrupted. "WAFFLES!" Meatloaf looked at her. "Yeah great! Alright next contes-" She interrupted again. "PANCAKES." Meatloaf sighed and faced Wheelchair. "Listen I like syrupy breakfast products as much as the next guy but you need to go away! Wheelchair nodded. "Ok next cont-" "FRENCH TOAST!!" Meatloaf pushed Wheelchair away.
Meatloaf seems to be getting aggravated. He cut open another box. Alright everybody me-" Staticky music that resembled the Green Hill Zone theme. "AAAAH MY EARS!! I DON'T HAVE EARS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! WHAT IS THIS MUSIC!? A scribbly blue hedgehog ran out of the box. "GOTTA GO FAST!!!1!!1!!
The music began to die down. "Oh oh thank god that's over..." Meatloaf turned to see the new contestant. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?" The poorly drawn hedgehog faced Meatloaf. "I am SANIC THE HEDGEHOG!! LIVE AND LEARN!! SANIC darted away. "HE'S NOT EVEN AN OBJECT!!"
Meatloaf cut open the next box and a tidal wave of cats flowed out. "Meatloaf spit out three cats. "Eww what the heck!?" A Yarn Ball popped out of the cat pile. "Oops pardon the kitty's! Yarn ball pleased to meet ya!" Yarn ball began to stuff all the cats back in the box. "Sorry about that I can't possibly travel without my cats!"Meatloaf frowned. "You know I'm to tired to to care." Yarn Ball looked confused. "What did you do that was so tiring?" Meatloaf thought about it for a second."Leave just go."
Meatloaf sighed, frowned and cut opened the next box. "Next up we have Stand." Strand frowned. Tsk why do not be uncultured! I refused to be referred to in such a short and petty nickname. Please! Call me Standley!" Meatloaf frowned."Great that's just great! I thought today was gunna be fun but I've been here for like ten minutes and no ones even died yet!" Standley frowned. "That's really messed up, I'm leaving now.
One of the butlers handed Meatloaf a cup of coffee."Thanks. I need this." The Butler opened the box for Meatloaf."Meet Plug and Play. Plug and Play stood up. "ECH!" Meatloaf stated at him. Plug and Play stared at Meatloaf. Meatloaf raised an eyebrow. Plug and Play walked away. "Ok then."
"Alright our final contestant" He cut the final box. "Meet MOLD!" Mold smiled. "Hi guys I'm MOLD! Pleased to meet you!! "Alright great pleased to meet you!" Mold smiled. "I'M MOLD" Meatloaf frowned. "Ok great now leave.
"Ok everyone this is our cast! We unfortunately have no time for a challenge! So tune in next time for the next episode of Object Sociopathy!"
"I still kinda hate you Meatloaf"
"I hate you to Retroey!"